Its been more than six months that I have moved away from Birmingham to High Wycombe. Rather I would say, moved away from my friends to a place where I am all alone and not a single known person. Every morning I get up with great difficulty to go to work. There is not the same enthusiasm that I use to have when I use to go to work in India. Then I spend whole day in office thinking how different it is to work here than in India. In India we had a concept of office friends with whom we use to have tea, lunch and snacks; With whom we use to spend time laughing, talking and gossiping and working was just one part of going to office. But here it all complex and professional. People just work and go home and don’t have time to talk or laugh or even have lunch with their colleagues.
After long tiring day in office, I come home and again spend the rest of the hours sitting in front of that stupid laptop and just browsing through news and Orkut profiles. That makes me more lazy and then the whole idea of cooking food for one hour just kills me. And finally I end up eating ready made “Shana” food with bread. And in between this daily routine whenever you meet any of your friends either in office or somewhere else, you just talk about how bored we are in this country and ponder over whether we took the right decision by coming to this country.
This is really a sad and boring life, is it not? But who is responsible for this life? I think I have to blame myself for this kind of life. What you do in your everyday existence, is projected outwardly, and that constitutes the world. If we are miserable, confused, chaotic within, by projection that becomes the world, that becomes society. I myself have created a gloomy world around me and I keep cribbing living inside it all the time. I always forget that there is more to life and there is a different world outside this melancholy world. What You Are, the World Is.
The transformation of the world is brought about by the transformation of oneself. To see the change in the world you need to bring the change in yourself. Unless you change yourself, the world will remain the same obscured place to live in. If you are optimistic towards life and keep enjoying whatever comes in its way then people will come close to you, they will like your company and will spend more time with you. No one in this world will love to stay with a depressed, insecure person all his life. Now that I know where I am going wrong, my next step should be to bring a Change in my life. So i better go and cook now even if it is 9.30pm here. This will be my first step towards the change in my life.